idle threats.

Oh, Twitter, you never cease to entertain me. You bring me face-to-face via 140 character messages with the likes of Paula Abdul, Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson's mother and all my favorite local television personalities. Twitter, you are pure entertainment and I'm beyond thankful that I have you in my life, because, like Facebook, you allow me to feel better about myself while mocking others. Twitter, if I go to hell because of this mocking, I'm quite confident you'll be there with me. You and Texts From Last Night.

Recently, as in yesterday, on Twitter I posted a "tweet" to a former celebrity A-lister's mother. The former A-lister: Lindsay Lohan. The former A-lister's mother: Dina Lohan. I follow Dina Lohan on Twitter for one simple reason: she makes crazy look like a lazy Sunday. I was first introduced to Dina, via E! Entertainment's own reality television show version of crack, Living Lohan. Fortunately, or unfortunately for some, Living Lohan only aired for one season. And what a shame for those of us addicts.

Initially, I didn't pay too much attention to her tweets...and then...she posted these...

sometimes i want to give up stop fighting but then i think of gahndi and when he said "he who not sinned cast the first line to fish" if i g
5:41 AM Apr 4th from web

if eveyrone who sinned can't fish then who would cast the line??? exactly NOONE!! because we all have made mistakes but we also need fish an
5:45 AM Apr 4th from web

bottom line if we don't have the fish then we all die if this doesn't make sense to you then you need Bible lessons, forgive the sinners cas
5:46 AM Apr 4th from web

if you dont have your Bible around then just do an ask jeeves search you will understand, no fish then we die, no sinners then no fish FORGI
5:49 AM Apr 4th from web

are Bible verses censored now lessons from the Lord??? at the very least can i not give wisdom to people about the need for fish and forgivn
5:51 AM Apr 4th from web

iT MIGHT BE A MUte point at this point but if tech support would at least not censor my blogs about our Lord and the Bible and be good peopl
6:29 AM Apr 4th from web

a Bible lesson once in a while to keep you GORUNDED and humble is not a bad thing and remember the fish, if everyone is perfect who will cas
3:30 PM Apr 4th from web

Those are straight from her Twitter, no making that stuff up. Clearly, you can see why I was intrigued. And when she posted this gem, I was hooked.

i am a HUMAN BEING1:49 AM Jun 24th from web
I think it's safe to say that she lives and dies by things she finds on Ask Jeeves. There's even been a few times she's apparently asked Jeeves for help with a home invasion. Try 911, honey.
So, back to my story: yesterday, I tweeted her. I simply stated that I was worried about her and she never made any sense. I giggled a bit and later got this message (a DIRECT MESSAGE) from her: dinalohan: worried about me WHY because of threatened by my SUCCESS???
Is that even an actual question? I felt like Dina Lohan asking me if I'm threatened by her success (I can only assume that's what she was asking) was equivalent to someone asking me if I'm threatened by a Cabbage Patch Doll's success. The answer is no, I'm not.
Actually, I might be more threatened by the success of Cabbage Patch Dolls than Dina Lohan, but that's still up for debate.
Here's my point: are you really successful if you are living off your daughter's fame and now that daughter is a (failing) recovering addict, who has been arrested multiple times, hasn't made a movie in a while and is only in the headlines for looking cracked out and dating an older lesbian? I would say Ms. Lohan has a very skewed (ie; loose) version of the word success.
But, then again, who am I, little ole, lc, to judge? After all, like Gahndi said, "he who not sinned cast the first line to fish."

Amen.Amen.