resolution (s).

I'm not much for new year's resolutions. I'm of the mind that if you're doing something shitty in July and you need to stop doing it, you should start in July, not wait until the next year. If you think you aren't eating properly or working out enough, you shouldn't wait until after the holidays to get into shape. I can't think of a worse time to exercise than the most joyous time of the year. I usually only exercise when I seriously can't think of a single other thing to do. Like, not one other thing. Like, I clean my toilet more than I exercise.

I can barely think of two resolutions I've made over my lifetime that stuck. Clearly, I'm disciplined. One of the resolutions I made in college was with a friend of mine. We decided that we were going to resolve to celebrate the changing of every month, not just every year. We forgot before February rolled around. Oopsies.

I'm a sucker for bullshit, so here's my list for 2010:

1. Talk about working out and exercising more. Maybe all the talk will build up to actually doing it. Make a playlist for my iPod titled, "Working on my Fitness," so when people see that they'll think I work out a lot. Or, I could eat less and cut down my alcohol-related caloric intake and lose weight and still let people believe I'm working out.

2. Work on my cussing around babies.

3. Buy new black work flats. My current ones look like I stole them from a homeless, yet business-casual vagabond.

4. Go visit my brosef and S-I-L at their home in little, tiny Harrison, Arkansas for a whole weekend just because.

5. Throw something off a bridge out of anger.

6. Listen to less rap music and more talk radio.

We'll see how these go, but I mean, let's be honest-- if I can accomplish these, 2010 is looking to be a bangin' year.