ass. u. me.

Admittedly, I had never heard the phrase, "When you assume, it makes an ass out of you and me," until fairly recently. You know, like the last two years or so. I don't know how I missed this gem of a cliche considering it contains one of my most favorite and used words, ass, but I did. Just swept right over it.

I'm real big on sizing people up. Real big on assuming I know just about everything and real big on assuming I'm almost always right or at least in the ball park of being right. This way of life has gotten me into trouble more than once. I've issued more than one apology because of it and yet, I still do it. In recent years I have tried to at least assume the best until someone tells me the worst, but mostly-- I assume and I live. I apologize and I move on.

I see the harm in this, but I ask you this, internetS-- when you see a truck or car driving down the street with flames painted all over it, do you not assume that the driver of said vehicle is uneducated and more than likely, illiterate? Do you not immediately assume that the owner of this flaming vehicle is seven notches lower on the totem pole than you? I mean, how does one keep from assuming that? Please, tell me how you do it. I just can't help it-- I see a low-riding Chevy S-10 pick-up with some flames on the doors and I say, "well hello, man who beats his other-half." I know it's wrong, but I don't want to be right.

And what about a person wearing Ed Hardy? How am I supposed to assume that a person who would consciously wear a bedazzled tiger across their chest isn't brain dead?

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm just as much an ass as bedazzled tiger man. But, maybe more conspicuous. I keep my ass-ness on the lowdown. At least until I start talking.