the bachelor pad: loyalty.

The game plan is going to be flipped, turned upside down now. OMIGAH.

I love that these idiots keep saying, on repeat, "it's all changing today." Well, it changes every week, moron heads.

I love that the boyZ paced up and down that row of gUrls acting as if we didn't know what was going to happen. Nikki, do you really feel betrayed? I think you should look up the definition of betrayal. Kippy-Skippy ain't Benedict Arnold, he's a contestant on "Bachelor Pad." Right before Dave picks Natalie he looks at all the little ducks in the row and says, "You guys are awesome, classy..." Ok, forget looking up betrayal and look up classy.

I love that Peyton got stuck with Jesse B. I have so many comments that my head feels like it's going to explode.

On peeling a banana:

"That's how monkeys do it."

"So, that's the right way?"

"YES! They are professionals."

Blank stare.

So, a couple of epis ago I was quite certain that Elizabeth was straight up stalker status when it came to her "relationship" with Kovacs, but...she doesn't know his middle name or where he went to college...she probably doesn't know what kind of car he drives! Basically, she's the worst stalker ever. Come. on. gUrl.

And this water balloon toss? Please. Balloons break. There's no art to it. You can wipe it on your shirt dozens and dozens of times and it won't make a damn bit of difference. GET. SERIOUS.

Why is Melissa on this show?!

I think Jesse B. might still have a little thing for Peyton, but unfortunately for him...her beer goggles have long been un-fogged and cleared up.

For like, five minutes, I really thought Tenley was actually going to flip and turn this game upside down. She went from Disney Princess to ice princess with her plan to vote off Eliza and Kovacs, but then...everybody just forgot about it. Sorry, Pey-Pey.

Best line of the night, Dave and Natalie get the date card and everybody is guessing what the date is going to be. Tenley screams, "Oh my gosh! What if you're going on a rocket!" Nobody flinched or even looked at her, leading me to believe she was serious and that other people may have thought that, too. Whatthewhat, gUrl.

This whole making out on the car thing before they go on their date was just weird. And gross. Like. Super gross. Again, let's look up the word classy.

Who's camera was that with all the Natalie photos on it? I'm willing to bet an extremely large sum of money, they somewhere out there on the InternetS Natalie is hosting a social networking page and that page has a whole album of solo shots of her with a yellow Lamborghini. Like, I guarantee it.

So, this whole Kovacs and Eliza in the fantasy suite thing...just, I mean, remember when she wouldn't let Jake kiss her?

Tenley comes downstairs and says, "the lights are on AND it smells good." I'm sorry, but...you could say that about my office some days.

An open letter to Eliza: Dear Eliza, please for the sake of every gUrl everywhere, get your shit together. Like, please. It's starting to just become really sad and honestly, a bit scary. I get it. I mean, admittedly, all gUrls can be crazy...but, you're taking this to a whole new level of WTF. Please. Please. Please. Just try harder, ok? Thanks.

They overuse the word relationship on this show.

OMG. This voting BS is starting to just get annoying. Everyone is all, "loyalty or strategic? LOYALTY OR STRATEGIC?" You know what, why don't you just try to get through this by becoming the least annoying to me. That sounds like the better play.

So, in the end everyone went with loyalty, which is just funny because I'm fairly certain that these people are least likely to be voted "loyal" in real life. But, it's whatever because they finally voted and I don't have to pay attention to this for a whole week. Praise be to God.