In my youth I always wanted to write jingles and/or copy for advertising campaigns, so I've thought of some new slogans for Budweiser. Because, I mean, if your can is wrapped in an American flag, it should be more American.
"Budweiser, the beer for Capitalists."
"Budweiser, the fairly elected official of beers."
"Budweiser, the sitting president of beers."
"Budweiser, it's Manifest Destiny disguised as a beer."
"No Budweiser without representation."
"Give me Budweiser or give me death!"
Also this morning: the final launch of Space Shuttle Atlantis. No big deal, right? False. As Joe Biden would say, "huge f'ing deal." America's space program is one thing that makes America so kick ass. We win at: space, (American) football, reality tv, trials by jury, elections and dreaming big-- hence, the AMERICAN DREAM. It's not the Swedish Dream or the Lithuanian Dream. What would the Lithuanian Dream even consist of? Soft toilet paper and a monthly trip to Aldi?
Casey Anthony will be a "free" woman in like, 9 days. That's insane to me. The other day on the news a commentator said, "Casey, there are 49 other states in this country, I think you should check out at least one of them." I can't name one state that would open their arms to that gUrl.
However, if she's looking to get back into "hot body" contests, I'd advise her to start with Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia or Louisiana as they have the highest obesity rates in the nation according to a new study. Florida's only "kind of" obese. I've also heard that Universal Studios in California is hiring. Oh...too soon?
I obviously don't agree with the jury's verdict in this case, but I'm still thankful that she got a trial by a jury. Look at poor Amanda Knox in Italy-- she got a "fair" trial, but like Casey was convicted by the media long before a jury of her peers found her guilty. Knox was convicted of murder, along with another man, who has said Knox had nothing to do with the killing and still-- she sits in prison. And not even an American prison. A foreign prison. They make movies (and television shows) about shit like that. You know why? Because it's just about everybody's worst nightmare: locked up abroad.
And my last thought on Casey Anthony: as a self-proclaimed "writer" I'm terribly saddened that she'll get a book deal for millions and millions of dollars without any sort of education or passion for writing. The only thing I've ever truly wanted in life (besides a pony, a puppy that stays a puppy forever and a joint checking account) is to be a published writer. And now, I not only have to battle people who are actual writers, but convicted criminals as well. Perfect.
Side note: This is America. Bless it.
1 comment:
LC. Budweiser was sold to a company in Belgium or some such place last year and I heard they are wanting to change the King of Beers slogan to King of Lagers. How very un-American!!
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